1 Faria Alam had affairs with FA chief executive Mark Palios and England manager Sven Goran Eriksson while working at the FA. What was her job there?
A Head of Internal Affairs
B Head Coach
C A secretary

2 Who said: “My dedication was absolute. I didn’t smoke. I didn’t drink. I didn’t have sex within three days of a match. Incredible.”
A George Best
B Faria Alam
C Malcolm Allison

3 Malcolm Allison was fired by Crystal Palace for letting which porn star share the team’s bath naked?
A Jordan
B Abi Titmuss
C Fiona Richmond

4 Which 70s sitcom star’s wife left him for Chelsea footballer Tommy Baldwin?
A Alf Garnett (Warren Mitchell)
B John Inman (Mr Humphries)
C Frank Spencer (Michael Crawford)

5 Which of these three women didn’t sleep with England skipper David Beckham in 2004?
A Victoria Beckham
B Rebecca Loos
C Abi Titmuss

6 What shocking hairstyle did Danish nursery nurse Celina Laurie claim Becks sported in 2002?
A A chest wig
B One eyebrow
C Waxed Goldenballs

7 Which husky-voiced TV presenter had flings with footballers Les Ferdinand, Ryan Giggs and Mark Bosnich?
A Des Lynam
B Danny Baker
C Dani Behr

8 George Best said: “I used to go missing a lot… Miss World, Miss UK, Miss Canada.” How many Miss World’s did he sleep with?
A Ten
B Five
C Two

9 Who said: “You could say I fell in love with a pair of knockers”?
A Dean Holdsworth (Wimbledon) about Linsey Dawn McKenzie
B Sven Goran Eriksson (England) about Ulrikka Jonsson
C George Best (Manchester United) about Eva Haraldsted

10 What was former double-winning Arsenal and England star Peter Storey given a suspended jail sentence for running in 1979?
AOffside
B Into the referee
C A brothel

11 Which of these players denied being gay, but was?
A Sol Campbell (Arsenal)
B Freddie Ljungberg (Arsenal)
C Justin Fashanu (Norwich City)

12 How did former Arsenal, Leeds and Forest striker Lee Chapman’s actress wife Leslie Ash say she injured herself in 2004?
A Doing stretching exercises before sex
B Reaching for a cigarette afterwards
C Bouncing off their new mattress during it

13 Which of these stars has not been pictured in women’s clothes?
A Pat van den Hauwe
B Dwight Yorke
A David Beckham

14 Which sleazy soccer boss said “I was fired for falling in love?”
A David Pleat (Luton Town)
C Ruud Gullit (Newcastle United)
B Tommy Docherty (Manchester United)

15 After filling what did Sven Goran Eriksson lead FA secretary Faria Alam up to bed to demonstrate he was “a master in the art of lovemaking”?
A Englands tricky left-wing position
B A job application
C The dishwasher

16 Former Scotland striker, now TV pundit and legendary lothario Andy Gray has fathered five children with four different women. Which ex-Olympian does he now live with?
A Geoff Capes
B Princess Anne
C Suzanne Dando

17 Newcastle manager Ruud Gullit and Geordie legend paul Gascoigne shared what in 1999?
A A love of sexy football
B A pizza
C A pizza waitress

18 Which former goalkeeper turned TV pundit proclaimed himself the Son of God and moved a blonde disciple into his house?
A Peter Schmeichel (Manchester United)
B David Seaman (Arsenal)
C David Icke (Coventry City)

19 Which 70’s footballer had a secret affair with George Best’s wife Angie?
A Pele (Santos)
B Franz Beckenbauer (Bayern Munich)
C Billy Jennings (West Ham United)

20 Which soccer rivals kissed each other on the pitch… and found themselves featured in German gay bondage magzine?
A Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger
B George Best and Ron Harris
C Tony Currie and Alan Birchenall

21 Former Bond girl Tula claimed she had an affair with TV host Des Lynam. But what was her real name?
A John Motson
B Barry Davis
C Barry Cossey

22 What did mistress Antonia de Sancha claim Tory Minister for Fun David Mellor wore in bed in 1992?
A Goalkeeper’s gloves
B Shin Pads
C A Chelsea strip

23 What did former England keeper Peter Shilton hit when he was discovered canoodling with another man’s wife in his Jag at 5am in a Nottingham layby?
A The deck
B 60mph
C A lamppost

24 Manchester United stars George Best and Mickey Thomas and West Ham’s Trevor Morley have all been stabbed in mysterious domestic circumstances. But where?
A London
B Los Angeles
C Their bottom

25 What animal did David Beckham’s lover Rebecca Loos pleasure on TV’s The Farm reality show?
A A hamster
B A pig
C Stan Collymore

26 Legendary 70s player Frank Worthington was given a second chance to pass a medical after high blood pressure scuppered his move to Liverpool from Huddersfield Town. How did he prepare for it?
A Yoga
B A week in a health farm
C A threesome with two Swedish blondes?

27 Which footballer has a chrome pole at the end of his bed in case he pulls an exotic dancer?
A David Beckham
B Wayne Rooney
C Dwight Yorke

28 Which soccer legend’s ex-girlfriend revealed: “He’d rather talk about Arsenal all night than have sex.”
A Arsene Wenger
B Sir Alex Ferguson
C David Beckham


(if you answered C each time, you're a soccer sexpert?)